so cute ~
so cute ~
Entertainment Weekly Digital Edition Cover | 5 Sep ‘14 issue
im so fucked for this year
flies to 3 different countries in 3 mins
Champion of Kirkwall - Concept art
Also titled, ‘Zevran’s Bedtime Extravaganza.’
Upon a lovely message received by an anon who said that Zevran’s voice helps them sleep, the ever wonderful spicyshimmy and I agreed that we all need a bedtime story told by the saucy crow.
The script is included below for your convenience. The script is, as always, written by the amazing spicyshimmy. Please check out her blog if you haven’t. She is immensely talented and a wonderful person.
Zev’s voice is provided by myself.
Are you certain you wish that I should be the one for this task, my dear warden? I have been told my bedtime stories induce nightmares at best and, on occasion, acute indigestion—but those are only the dirty ones, and the ones about Antiva, and especially the ones with poetry…Ah, so you are giving me that look. I see how it is. Who can resist those mabari pup eyes?Ahem.Once upon a time, a handsome elf was at last given cause to rest in the pillowy volumes of an older gentlewoman’s magnificent bosom. This was after he had worn himself most ragged with vital business—matters of utmost importance to Thedas—such as massaging the feet of a beautiful bard and offering anatomy lessons to an attractive, if tongue-tied, templar. Ah, yes, what a day it had been for our hero, the handsome elf, as he drew diagrams in the mud, then attempted to assuage the templar’s trauma after a certain mabari warhound bit a sizable chunk from a most vital area! Though he did his best, the handsome elf could not entirely convince the tongue-tied templar that such an action would not occur when said anatomy was bared in real life—though perhaps this was in part due to the influence of a witchy woman, who fed the warhound sweet treats after it had destroyed the diagram, all without allowing her gaze to wander from the tongue-tied templar and mouthing, with her sweet, supple lips: tonight, you! Oh, the adventures that were had on that fine day, as a broad-backed qunari darned socks under the watchful eye of the well-endowed gentlewoman, to the dulcet tunes of the party’s malodorous dwarf hiccuping a masterful baritone, and a sentient pile of rocks, bedecked and bejeweled, ventured deep into the forest, and returned curiously adorned with molted feathers…Ah. You are asleep already. A testament to how weary you must be, I am sure, and not to the quality of this handsome elf’s storytelling. Does the sound of my voice escort you into the Fade?No; no, perhaps it does not. Such a foolish supposition, a notion too romantic for the more inhospitable corners of Ferelden, no?Yet here I am, speaking to one who slumbers on in places where I cannot hope to reach. If there is any justice, any payment for good deeds hard-won and even harder done, then you are dreaming of rainbows and pussycats and perhaps even an Orlesian cheese tasting platter, with myself as the platter upon which the cheeses are served…Would that I could join you—yet it does not bother me to remain with my eyes open and my daggers ready.You are in my arms.No harm will come to you.
"Go the f*ck to sleep"
That’s what I keep telling my brain.My lady Hawke, Fenris and sleepiness~